


Vodka And Dissapointment Do Not Mix

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Accidental Sex, Alcohol, Drunkenness, Eggpreg, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Mpreg, Multi, Oviposition, Pregnancy, Vodka
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 07:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5734633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux and Eridan are saddened by Aradia and Feferi's new matespiritship. Things happen and mistakes are made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Sweep's Eve

New Sweep’s Eve was tonight, and Sollux Captor was more than ready. He would have another chance to see his long forgotten matespirit, Aradia Medigo, and hopefully renew their matespiritship. He wanted rather badly to see her again, as he was head over heels flushed for her. He left his communal hive and began to walk the two blocks over to Karkat’s hive. He had a spring in his step, as he was sure that everything would go over quite smoothly. However, he couldn’t have been further from the truth as he knocked on Karkat’s door.

He was invited inside, and was surprised to see that he was the last one to arrive. Before the festivities began, Aradia and Feferi walked to the front of the room to make an announcement. He noticed, with a sudden feeling of dread, that they were holding hands. He then brushed it off, thinking that it was simply a gesture of platonic feeling. An, yet again, he couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

“Attention everyone,”

Feferi called. 

“Before we begin tonight’s celebration, Aradia and I would like to announce our newly formed matespiritship.”

The pit of Sollux’s stomach suddenly dropped out and his vision went blurry. It couldn’t be possible. Aradia – matespirits with someone else? He continued to stand there as the festivities began, garnering a strange glance from Karkat. He moved, however, when he heard Terezi call for a video game contest. He volunteered, and was slated to play second, after Virska and Terezi. He was positioned to play against Eridan, but he was so heartbroken that he didn’t care. And, as it appeared, Eridan was the same way.

When Karkat offered vodka, a shot contest started. Half an hour later, everyone except Sollux, Eridan, Karkat, and Kanaya were either out cold or unable to stand. Kanaya left, Karkat set to cleaning up the mess, and Sollux and Eridan decided to head over to Sollux’s hive and split the last remaining bottle of liquor. Normally, the two would never even consider getting this close to each other, yet beer and sadness clouded their thinking. The walk home was a quick one, and soon, they were seated next to each other at Sollux’s table, divvying up the alcohol. 

Sollux drank his glass quite quickly, yet Eridan took his slower. As soon as Eridan had swallowed the last drop, Sollux leaned over and kissed him on the mouth. This shocked Eridan, and he fell onto the floor, being too tipsy to stand. Sollux then tried to stand up, and Eridan pulled the landweller onto his lap. The highblood pressed his mouth against the other’s and Sollux opened his mouth quite obediently. Eridan slid his tongue in, and Sollux wrapped his forked tongue around it. They broke the kiss for air, then smashed their faces together, both with open mouths.

Eridan used his hands to reach up Sollux’s shirt, and the psionic’s hands went straight to the seadweller’s belt. The next time that they broke the kiss, Eridan pulled Sollux’s shirt off and Sollux unbuckled Eridan’s belt. The low blood’s shirt went flying, as did, when Sollux got a good grip, the high blood’s pants. Eridan began to rub his hands over Sollux’s grub scars, causing Sollux to moan into the kiss. Sollux shimmied out of his pants, wanting to be as close to Eridan as possible, and they went flying, as did Eridan’s shirt. Now the two were in only boxers, with Eridan’s cape wrapped around them.

Once their boxers were gone, Sollux’s twin bulges wound their way inside of Eridan, making him moan and beg in pleasure. Three minutes after the initial kiss, Eridan climaxed, coating his and Sollux’s stomachs in violet. This brought Sollux over the edge, and he filled Eridan with mustard yellow genetic material. Eridan proceeded to fall asleep very quickly, as he was quite inebriated, and Sollux barley kept his eyes open for five minutes before succumbing to sleep. And there they slept, as the clock struck twelve, on Sollux’s nutrition block floor, naked and wrapped in Eridan’s cape.

Sollux was the first to awake. At first he wondered why it was so bright, why his head hurt so much, and why the surface under him felt so different. He then realized that he was sleeping on top of someone, and was immediately overjoyed, thinking that it was Aradia. We can only imagine his shock and disgust when he figured out that it was not Aradia, but Eridan. He quickly got up, picked up his and Eridan’s clothes, and threw them into the washing machine. Next, he headed off to the absolution block. There, he scrubbed himself for almost thirty minutes, wanting to rid himself of anything Eridan.

Afterwards, once he was dry and clothed, he moved the clothes in the washing machine to the dryer and began to clean the nutrition block. First, Eridan, who was still asleep, was moved to the couch. Next, the floor was bleached free of violet. Finally, the half- filled vodka bottle went into the trash, the glasses into the sink. The dryer pinged, signaling that it was done, and he put away his clothes before moving Eridan’s to the absolution block. The ping from the dryer had stirred Eridan, and he began to awake. By the time Sollux had returned to the nutrition block, safely out of the seadweller’s view, Eridan had realized that he was naked, except for his cape, in someone else’s hive, on someone else’s couch.

“Wwhere the hell am I?”

“Well, look who’th fiinally awake.”

“Wwhat happened last night?”

“I have abtholutely no iidea, but the abtholuthiion block’th that way. II wathed your clotheth thiince they were on the floor. They’re in there.”

“Oh my holy gog.”

Eridan, being a seadweller, took an even longer time to wash up. By when he finally left the absolution block, Sollux had breakfast made. The two ate in silence, then Eridan brought up an idea as Sollux washed the dishes and he put them away.

“Should wwe each do a test? Jus’ to make sure that neither of us is gravvid?”

“Thure, they’re iin the abtholuthiion block. II’ll go and get them.”


	2. Wwhoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone makes mistakes. Especially Eridan.

It was quick and easy to get the tests, and even quicker and easier to apply them. All you had to do was place the smaller end in your mouth for about three minutes, then a light would turn either red or green to indicate whether you were carrying eggs or not. Sollux did his quickly, and got the result he’d been expecting: a red light. He wasn’t gravid. However, Eridan’s test showed a green light, which Sollux dismissed as a false positive. That was, until Eridan threw up into the nearby sink, the normal purple dotted with mustard yellow splotches. Sollux was the first to speak, as he took Eridan into his arms and Eridan started to cry. 

“Well, now we know. ED, II promiithe iit’ll be fiine. Jutht fiine.”

“Sol! Wwhy! Wwhy me!”

“Thooth. Calm down, ED. We’ll be fiine. II promiithe.”

Eridan’s tears then became full blown sobs. Sollux patted his hair and shoosh papped him. As Eridan calmed down, Sollux made a statement.

“We thould probably go thee Kanaya. Thee can help uth wiith thiith.”

And with that, Sollux dragged Eridan out of his hive, down the communal hive’s stairs, and into the landweller’s transportation device. By the time that Sollux started said device, Eridan’s sobs had renewed. It was a long drive over to the jade blood’s hive, for she lived with the rest of the jade bloods out near the brooding caverns, and Sollux worried the entire way. Soon enough, they had arrived, and Sollux lifted the still sobbing seadweller out of the passenger seat and carried him to the front door of the hive. He rang the doorbell, and Kanaya was quick to react when she saw Eridan’s tears. She brought the two into her hive, set Eridan on the couch, and attempted to console the highblood.

“Shoosh, Eridan, shoosh. What happened?”

Sollux explained last night’s events, as Eridan was in no shape to do so.

“Latht niight, we got drunk, and, and, p-paiiled. N-now he’th graviid.”

“Oh My. We Must Get Him Tested Quickly, To Make Sure That That Is Truly The Case, Then, If So, You Two Should Begin To Prepare For A Grub.”

“But, can’t you liike, take iit out, or thomethiing?”

“I’m Afraid That We Could Not Safely Perform An Abortion On A Troll Of His Size. He Is Simply Too Small.”

“II thee, well, KN, thankth for your help.”

“It Was No Problem. I Will Have Him Come In For Testing Tomorrow.”

“Okay. Thee you then.”

And with that, Sollux lifted the sobbing seadweller off of Kanaya’s couch and carried him back to the transportation device as Kanaya waved goodbye. The ride back to Sollux’s hive seemed longer than the ride there. The low blood received stares as he entered the communal hive, because high bloods were uncommon in that particular area, much less crying high bloods that had to be carried. Sollux was relieved to finally be inside of his apartment. He made lunch (grubloaf and grub sauce), and sat down on the couch with Eridan, whose tears had subsided somewhat, yet not completely.

“Thooth, ED, thooth. IIt’th okay.”

“Sol! Wwhat am I gonna tell Dualscar? ‘WWhoops, I screwed a lowwblood and noww I’m gravvid! Got any advvice?’ He’ll disowwn me! I’ll be a disgrace!”

“How about: ‘II am graviid with my lover’s eggs. Altho, he’th a lowblood.’”

“So am I just supposed to pretend that wwe’re in the flushed quadrant noww?”

“IIf you wwant to get out of thiith wiithout becomiing a diithgrathe, yeth.”

“Arrggh! I’d like to just die instead of this happening! WWhat if Kan tells someone?”

“Then Kan tellth thomeone. IIt won’t be that biig of a deal. Motht of the otherth thuthpect that we’re kiithmethiith, and won’t be thupriithed.”

And, in another household, that was exactly what was occurring.

“Remember How Sollux And Eridan Left Together Yesterday?”

“YEAH, WHY?”

“They Apparently Pailed While At Sollux’s Hive.”

“AND, WHY, EXACTLY, WOULD THAT BE AN ISSUE?”

“It Would Not Be, Except For The Fact That Eridan Is Now Gravid.”

“JESUS H. CHRIST! DID THEY NOT HAVE THE COMMON SENSE TO USE A PAIL?”

“Apparently Not.”

And now, as Karkat leaves Kanaya’s hive after their talk, Eridan decides to contact an old friend and ask for advice.  
caliguasAquarium began trolling cuttlefishCuller

“Hey Fef? You there?”

“)(I Eridan! )(ow are you? I’m doing well myshelf!”

“I kinda need you to come ovver. I’m at Sollux’s hivve right noww, don’t ask, and I havve a serious problem. Bring Aradia.”

caliguasAquarium ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller

Eridan then disconnected without saying goodbye. Feferi immediately knew that something was very wrong. She grabbed Aradia, then the two left, hurrying for Sollux’s hive. They burst through the door, ready to come to Eridan’s defense, and found Eridan and Sollux sitting on the couch. Sollux invited them to sit down, then began to explain the situation.

“IIt happened latht niight. We were both drunk, and he came here wiith me and we got even drunker. We then paiiled, and took tethtth thiith morniing when we found out what had happened, and ED’s wath pothiitiive. We confiirmed iit wiith KN before calliing you guys.”

Both girls were shocked, yet Feferi was the first to speak.

“O)(, goodness, t)(is must come as quite a shock. )(ow do you plan on dealing wit)( it?”

“WWe don’ knoww. Kan said she couldn’t take it out safely, and so I guess wwe’re stuck wwith it until it hatches.”

“S0, what quadrant are y0u tw0 in n0w?”

“All of them, becauthe we don’t know at all how we feel about each other.”

“Even as)(en?”

“Evven ashen.”

Aradia and Feferi soon excused themselves, because they were quite unsure what had happened and what to do about it. They drove home quite quickly, then each got on the phone and dealt with the news the only way they knew how; gossiping. Aradia called Terezi, Feferi Nepeta, and all chatted for quite a while about the situation.

“AC would like to know the reason for CC’s call.”

“I )(ave news. “

“AC would like to know about this news.”

“So, remember the party last night? Eridan and Sollux went )(ome toget)(er.”

“AC is astounded.”

“And, apparently, t)(ey pailed.”

“AC wants to know how CC knows this.”

“Eridan told me. Apparently, t)(ey didn’t use a pail, and now )(e’s gravid.”

“AC must leave right now to tell CT this.”

“Goodbye, Nepeta.”

“AC says bye too.”

And, on another line;

“Terezi. S0mething happened that y0u w0n’t believe.”

“WH4T H4PP3N3D?”

“Eridan and S0llux pailed. After the party last night.”

“WH4T? DON’T TH3Y H4T3 34CH OTH3R PL4TONIC4LLY?”

“Well, n0t n0w, because Eridan’s gravid.”

“OH MY GOG. S3RIOUSLY?”

“Seri0usly.”

“BY3. I’V3 GOT TO T3LL V1RSK4.”  
“G00dbye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys want to see any changes made to this, please comment.  
> If you want a particular brand of smut written and the prompt memes will not do, again, please comment so that I can write it.


End file.
